Courtesy of Warner Brothers

I was really excited to see this movie.  So much so that I even wrote something about it on this blog when the trailer first came out.  Then came all the bad reviews.

I was eventually going to see it, but with such negativity surrounding the film, there’s no way I was going to see it in theatre and spend money on a movie that might be terrible.  Now that the movie has come out on DVD, I finally gotten around to seeing it.

Terminator Salvation takes place a few years after Terminator 3:Rise of the Machine, 2018 to be exact.  John Connor is deeply entrance in the resistance against the machine as they are currently in the middle of the war.  In an attempt to defeat them, the resistance intelligence comes up with a way to destroy the machine once and for all, but before they can do that, they must find Kyle Reese, John’s father, who is actually trying to find John with the help of Marcus, a convict from the year 2003 who was put to death by lethal injection, but not before he donated his body to science.  The problem, Kyle Reese and John Connor are the machines number one and number two on their hit list.

Yeah, that sounds a little bit like this could suck, it could just be my writing, or it could be that it actually did suck.  This movie had so many plot holes, for example, how the heck did the machine know about Kyle Reese?  Did a Mac G5 go into the future to tell the machines that Kyle is sent to the past?  No, there’s no way the machines should know anything about Kyle Reese, so why put him on their hit list.  In Salvation, he’s a nobody.  That’s just one of the many plot holes in this movie.  I wonder if they decided to throw out any of the story arc that the previous three movie had.  This is what happens when James Cameron doesn’t have anything to do with the production, at least in Terminator 3, he helped write it.  After watching this movie, you are left at exactly the same place you were before you watched it.  This movie doesn’t progress the Terminator story arc at all.

Yes, the action was pretty cool, but that was pretty much all the movie had.  I don’t know what it is about all these movies I’ve been watching, but this one was the same as the last couple movies I’ve watched and that this movie was very impersonable.  Once again, you really don’t care what happens to any of the characters in this movie, well maybe Marcus, but he’s not the lead.

As I watched this 2 hour time killer, I wondered how many movies of Christian Bale have I liked him in.  The Batmans, were the only movies which I liked him in, which is not entirely correct, I like him as Batman, but didn’t like him as Bruce Wayne.  I like Equilibrium, but not really him in it.  Just saw Public Enemies and hated him in that.  And I hated Empire of the Sun, because of him.  I am realizing that I’m not a fan of Christian Bale.  And after that tirade he had on set of this movie, I’ve also lost all respect for him, and McG for that matter.

Terminator Salvation looked like it had potential of being a good addition to the Terminator franchise, but that was before I knew what the story of the movie was.  The action was cool to watched, but the story had too many plot hole to care what was going on in the movie, and the directing made the characters impersonable to the audience.  I can see why this had so many bad reviews and I’m glad I waited to see this movie, instead of spend money at the theater.  This was a big fail and probably the down fall of the Terminator franchise, even though a fifth movie seems to be in the talk.

Terminator Salvation gets a 2 out of 5.

I’m not going to lie, this is the first time I see this trailer version.  Had I seen it beforehand, I would have never been excited to see this movie.

and a bonus for anyone who don’t know what I was talking about earlier.

I’m sorry, you’re a fucking actor, you have no right, you have the easiest job in the world and you get paid a ton.  I understand acting is an art, but you could have nicely said something, instead of completely flip out.  I work on set of big features and the unprofessional was you, Mr. Bale.  Just because you are doing a scenes doesn’t mean the crew stops working, if that was the case, a movie would take twice maybe three times as long to make.  McG didn’t help the matters by pussing out.  I just checked Shane’s imdb and it looks like he hasn’t had a job since Salvation, I hope that it’s not true, he isn’t the best DP, but that wasn’t his fault.

PS — I would have totally been blacklisted, because I would have defended myself.


(Note: Major Spoilers!!!!!, if you don’t want to know what happens, stop reading now)

this is the second part of my review for “The Dark Knight.” read the first part here. as a special treat today, i also decided to post a review of the new animated movie “Batman: Gotham Knight.” i actually watched it a week or two before it got released on DVD (online bootleg, shhh), but was waiting for a venue to share some thoughts. and, this seems like the perfect time. so, let’s get on with this.

you know the story. you know what happened. you know where he came from. you know what he’s going to do.

the work of Frank Miller, Tim Burton, Bruce Timm and Eric Radomski, as well as many other talented legends in the biz, solidified Bob Kane’s “Batman” — one of the most successful crime fighters in comic book history — as the prototypical anti-hero for the end of times. the gritty underworld explored in 1930s gangster pictures and 1940s film noir became the habitat for a detective dressed as the very symbol of fear he hoped to strike into the heart of evil.

Gotham City was re-imagined as the sister city to Fritz Lang’s “Metropolis” and “Blade Runner”‘s Los Angeles 2019. and somewhere in all of this, the technology of the 1980s and 1990s met the fashion and architecture of 1930s New York. the darkness, the despair, the corruption that swallows Gotham City has but one enemy: the survivor of the kind of street violence that makes Batman necessary.

Bruce Wayne becomes a man with fears and a lust for violence to solve those fears. he justifies violence by telling himself that it is the only way to combat true evil. (think those Kung-Fu Monks) revenge might have been part of it, in one movie or one comic book, but the blueprint for how we know Batman now was undoubtedly drawn up in Frank Miller’s Batman: The Dark Knight Returns and Batman: Year One. in terms of matching the noir tone, Joker’s vague origins in Alan Moore’s The Killing Joke made the picture complete.

we see Batman as a vigilante, as a fugitive from the law, as an unwilling hero, as a self-destructive myth, and as a killer, regretful as he might be. for all in him that is good, there is ability to do evil.

same with the Joker. Alan Moore’s jester is a complicated thug, someone pushed into doing terrible things after the grief of a dead wife and child strike him. his slip into lunacy is a sympathetic and frightening one.

wherever it started, it remains true: Bruce Wayne and Joker are opposite sides of the same coin. Batman’s greatest villain was, is, and always will be the Joker.

so, i decided to see if this year’s blockbuster could continue the dark tradition and commercial success begun in Christopher Nolan’s “Batman Begins.” can Heath Ledger match Jack Nicholson’s highly revered performance as the Joker in Tim Burton’s first “Batman?” can Christian Bale finally make the role of the Bat his own without a raspy voice ruining it? is it possible to keep the series from slipping into the “Diamonds are Forever” depths of “Batman & Robin”? Check it out.

The Dark Knight

(2008, Dir. Christopher Nolan, Scr. Jonathan & Christopher Nolan)

there’s something glorious and almost unsettling about a film like “The Dark Knight.” first, let’s get it out of the way; in this honest reviewer’s opinion, this is the end all, be all comic book movie adaptation. the best superhero movie. blah blah blah. but did you expect anything different? showing about 71% (more fun with odd fractions later) of what a neo-noir Batman could be, “Batman Begins” managed to muster a Bruce Wayne in rebirth, a legendary hero born, and a taste of the true crime saga boiling beneath the surface. sure, we knew Gotham City was on a decline, but to what depths, we hadn’t seen nothing yet, trust me. the unsettling remark i made is the fact that it’s taken this long to capture it — this hero might’ve been, after all, more suited played by Humphrey Bogart with a cig in his mouth and a .32 in his fist. where there’s “The Dark Knight,” i point you, fair readers, to Red Harvest; a book about a single man against a town where everyone’s crooked, extortion and murder included. Gotham City is a better name for Poisonville.

and where “Spiderman” got a faithful adaptation, and some would argue “The Incredible Hulk” did as well…and, let’s not forget the excellent “Iron Man”…we have not seen a “Batman” movie at once, SO exacting and faithful to the comic and SO accessible to casual viewers. this is an almost flawless movie. the bullets i’ll shoot at it won’t even braze the kevlar.

agenda aside, “The Dark Knight” is like Christopher Nolan’s version of “Heat,” with a little “Seven” thrown in for good measure. this is an incredibly intense PG-13 movie…and i fucking love it. what makes it such an exciting film is that your expectations are there, and most likely high, and the bombastic action grabs you from the outset. by the time a quiet scene happens, you’re already fascinated by the Joker and all that he does. with scene after scene of bank robberies gone a wry, hostage situations escalating, gangsters and innocents getting wasted, and the media frenzy reaching fever levels, it’s a difficult ride to stand back and criticize. for some, that would be evidence that there’s a broken rail or something to uncover how “The Dark Knight” is fundamentally flawed. but those action scenes are built around a very tight narrative: the rise of law and order, the addition of chaos, the fall of “vigilante” justice, and hope prevailing.

Heath Ledger is a fulfilled promise. he’s fucking maniacal in every scene. over-the-top but in a good way, in a “There Will Be Blood” way. seriously, this is the best performance i’ve seen since Daniel Day-Lewis’ last year. you’ll get hints about the Joker’s past, but are they true? those who’ve read “The Killing Joke” and other Joker-centric installments get the in-joke punchline. for those who haven’t, it’s the heart of the character: evil spawned with little explanation or origin as a response to Batman’s brand of justice. and i’m glad they don’t spoon feed us where he’s come from. though, i’m sure, if you’ve read the news, you know where he’s going…probably to a two-bit Jim Carrey impersonator in Brett Ratner’s “Revenge of the Bat Man” (2013). just kidding. one can only hope Nolan holds onto this franchise with the grip of a crackhead. and the loss of Heath Ledger is a tragic one, for more reasons than just this performance. but, what a frightening note to leave hanging in the air. it’s masterful.

and while Joker is the catalyst for all this chaos, without a doubt, the story centers on Harvey Dent, now Two-Face, played by Aaron Eckhart. the rise of “the face” of justice, no longer “the symbol,” is a very important one. Bruce Wayne realizes he must take a backseat to an efficient crimefighter who uses books and courtrooms to clean up the streets. it’s an interesting side of Wayne, someone who laments the violence he must use as well as the love that he lost. Eckhart plays the white knight of Gotham in a sad way too. if you feel sympathy for anyone’s change into a monster, it’s him. they got that tone about his story, one similar to Mr. Freeze’s, dead on.

as a crime movie, especially drawing so much from “Heat” and other cops-and-robbers shoot-’em-up’s, what works the most in its favor is making Batman a detective again. along with Lt. Gordon, who’s got a bigger part this time, the two approach the Joker crimes by collecting evidence and testing theories, and ultimately casting a trap to capture him. it’s old school Batman lore, where he’s always ahead of the reader/viewer.

there are some cons to “The Dark Knight,” and unfortunately they have to do with Christian Bale. all the baddies and gadgets and action scenes aside, Bale still plays Batman like it’s amateur hour. once suited up, he’s got a sore throat and the expressionless mouth of a stroke victim. this isn’t all his fault, i know that suit takes away his eyes and brows, and it’s not like he can mime Vaudevillian-style in 2 inches of rubber. but considering Batman has always taken a backseat to “bad guy of the week,” logically because said bad guy(s) were only going to be in one installment, this lack of a strong protagonist is hurt even more by getting shuffled to the bottom of the deck. as Bruce Wayne, he’s 100%. as Batman, he’s 56%, maybe 57% on a dark night (see what i did there). Michael Keaton talked in a lower, whispery voice, but it wasn’t a dramatic change from his Wayne. across the board, Keaton’s Wayne was consistent. even Kilmer’s was, probably the most consistent performance, whether that’s good or bad. Clooney, i don’t quite remember. my point is Bale speaks normally, but, as Batman, he’s “playing” it over the top for what effect? to strike fear into criminals? it just comes off as jarring and unnatural.

but that’s one little gripe. “The Dark Knight” is the best comic book movie, hands down. and one of the best crime dramas since “The Departed.”

Random Notes:

  • the Two-Face makeup effects are amazing and disgusting. they really were my favorite thing about the movie. they captured that “Animated Series” look so perfectly. you see the tendons and the teeth, AND THE EYE BALL. awesome.
  • i liked maggie gyllenhaal as the new Rachel Dawes. she has a certain real world beauty that matches a childhood friend of Bruce Wayne’s. Katie Holmes was too glamorous for “Batman Begins,” more like a Bond girl.
  • whenever i can get more Gary Oldman in a movie, i’m happy. i liked Gordon — the Commish, finally — actually having a spine this time around, taking charge, being The Man.
  • Joker in the nurse’s outfit, priceless. good callback.
  • the coin flipping of Two-Face, another good callback with fond memories.
  • jesus fucking christ, how many knives does Joker have on his body at any one time?! he reminds me of a childhood toy i had, Rio Blast. motherfucker had lasers hidden all over his body, IN his body, in muscles, in arms, in his calves.
  • good cameo by Cillian Murphy as the Scarecrow. adds to that suspended reality that all these criminals go on doing their thing when Batman isn’t directly chasing them.
  • Michael Jai White and Eric Roberts. b-movie kingpins becoming a-list crime lords? i’ll buy it. great scenes with both actors.
  • another great cameo by none other than Nicky Katt, one of my favorites along with Timothy Olyphant (pre-Die Hard 4). always plays comedy so straight and under the level.
  • Gordon and his Major Crimes Unit? what the hell happened to Daniels? did they get disbanded AGAIN?

Grade: A

Batman: Gotham Knight

(2008, Dir. Shojiro Nishimi, Scr. Josh Olson, segment “Have I Got a Story For You;” Dir. Futoshi Higashide, Scr. Greg Rucka, segment “Crossfire;” Dir. Hiroshi Morioka, Scr. Jordan Goldberg, segment “Field Test;” Dir. Yasuhiro Aoki, Scr. David S. Goyer, segment “In Darkness Dwells;” Dir. Toshiyuki Kubooka, Scr. Brian Azzarello, segment “Working Through Pain;” Dir. Jong-Sik Nam, Scr. Alan Burnett, segment “Deadshot”)

given its art style and concept, the new animated movie, “Batman: Gotham Knight,” doesn’t hide its pedigree. moreover, it wears it like a war medal; you know, the one your grandfather wanted you to ask about so he could jump into a well rehearsed but no less fascinating story about his courageous adventures? “Gotham Knight” benefits from being compared to “The Animatrix,” as well as recent hits, “Steamboy,” “Tekkonkinkreet,” and the anime segment of “Kill Bill, Volume 1.” with anime more in the mainstream consciousness of fanboys’ sisters these days, most viewers can draw comparisons if not know exactly where they’ve seen this kind of crisp CG animation before (companies like Production I.G. are to credit).

“Gotham Knight” works much like “The Animatrix” did, with each vignette taking on an aspect or idea of the caped crusader’s universe, or a character trait not fully explored in the comic franchise. this works well for the most part, giving each short at least narrative substance to follow and enjoy. however, what results is the same Achilles’ Heel “The Animatrix” had: some segments are deep and interesting, but not long enough to be satisfying; others are ephemeral and come off like shiny placeholders.

“Have I Got a Story for You” and “Deadshot” are the best of the bunch; the first and last vignettes, respectively. the first one is concerned with Batman folklore, the symbol he represents and the tall tales he breeds among Gotham City’s residents. it’s the most interesting because it depicts the stories we’ve heard about Batman, particularly from criminals (i.e. the “great big bat” conversation between the two stick-up men at the beginning of Tim Burton’s “Batman”). three skateboarders, our protagonists, lead us down a “Rashomon”-like road dissecting the incarnations of Batman: one a literal liquid shadow flowing back and forth while fighting a bad guy, one an actual flying bat decapitating fools while squealing through the air, and one a technological wonder of weaponry reminiscent of Robocop. it’s entertaining throughout, as each kid tries to make “it more colorful, yo,” exaggerating the events to epic status. one even protests “i ain’t scared of you, man” as a burglar with a rocket launcher aims him down.

the last vignette, “Deadshot,” is a straightforward narrative, with Batman trying to stop a super sniper named Dead Shot from assassinating Lt. Gordon. there’s nothing deep here, but the story and animation are very smooth. it reminds a viewer of a mini episode of “Batman: The Animated Series,” which is fucking awesome if you remember.

the rest of the collection has some notable additions. “Crossfire” is about two M.C.U. detectives delivering a prisoner to Arkham Asylum. it deals mainly with the feeling that Gotham City P.D. “runs errands for a vigilante.” its art style is very “Hellsing” for you anime fans out there. “Field Test” finds Bruce Wayne and Lucius Fox testing out a electromagnetic pulse gyro that creates a force field around Batman that deflects bullets and projectiles. it’s a good little detour into Batty’s technology and moral values. “Working Through Pain” feels like an extension of the League of Shadows training in “Batman Begins.” it traces Wayne’s journey to control and strengthen his pain threshold by becoming a student of a Fakir outcast in India. some good moments.

the worst of the bunch is “In Darkness Dwells,” unsurprising to me since it is penned by David S. Goyer. i’m not a fan of Goyer. he tries too hard to make his dialogue and pacing poignant, like the bastard child of Dashiell Hammett and George Lucas. what results is wooden characters and eye-rolling plot developments. though he manages to draw up stories true to their source material which i like (“Blade,” “Batman Begins,” and “The Dark Knight”). there are a couple good noir exchanges between Batty and a bum in the sewer tunnel, but the Scarecrow/Killer Croc adventure isn’t memorable at all.

overall, the collection is beautiful to watch and there are some good folklore explorations in the six stories. but, nothing is going to stay with you when you eject it from your player. rent it.

Grade: B-

The Batman Warner Bros. Franchise (best to worst)

  1. The Dark Knight (2008)
  2. Batman (1989)
  3. Batman Begins (2005)
  4. Batman Returns (1992)
  5. Batman Forever (1995)
  6. Batman & Robin (1997)

i’m going to save my revisit to “Dr. Strangelove” for another time. in preparation for what’s likely to be the biggest summer movie this year, i’ve decided to post my review of “The Dark Knight” in two parts. the first part is a primer for where i’m coming from, including my reluctance to dig remakes and revamps. also, i wanted to get in some rant time on “Casino Royale,” a movie that i think is the best of the recent franchise reboots. who knows? you might draw some connections between our new Bond and the caped crusader. on July 18th, i’ll post the actual review, along with a special treat. so, let’s get on with this.

i’m usually not a fan of series reboots. most of the time, they end up being retreads of the first installment with bigger guns, better gadgets, 100 times more CGI and a watered-down story. sure, it’s a funny joke to take a beloved character and see how he or she’s been doing for the last 20 years. but, that joke is topical during the trailers and TV spots; not necessarily by the time you plant your booty in a theater seat.

in the case of “The Pink Panther,” which like many crowd-pleasing hallmarks of the Baby Boomer generation, has been made into a vehicle geared towards families and children specifically, the joke is on them. it’s cringe-worthy to see Steve Martin try to be clever as a French imbecile when it’s so apparent the comic material isn’t there. has it even been there since Peter Sellers died? i’m looking at you Roberto Benigni!

ditto on the “Vacation” movies with Chevy Chase…or Chevy Chase movies altogether. take a formerly great comedian whose portrayal of cool jerks has been ripped off by everyone including Jason Lee’s picture-perfect copy in “Mallrats,” add a little cocaine addiction, and you got a man whose career downfall can be directly correlated with the end of the 1980s. since then, he’s been in the saccharin garbage his generation used to despise: “Cops and Robbersons,” “Man of the House” with JTT, and, of course, my personal favorite, “The Karate Dog.” just kidding, what the fuck is that movie?

same with Eddie Murphy. as Dan pointed out on several occasions, Eddie hasn’t been the same since he picked up that transvestite and got all “Nutty Professor”‘ed.

and Robert De Niro. (sorry Amanda) the list goes on…

…where was i? oh yeah. add to this equation Hollywood’s need to slap a PG-13 on anything that a “fan boy” might like, be interested in, or get attracted to through the inclusion of a hot babe, a sci-fi Han-Solo-type, or a video game tie-in. what results is watered-down stories, characters that don’t age well (Indiana Jones), and lame romps of stupid in-jokes and who-cares plot development, disguised in CGI and yet another action set piece with bullet time & wire-fu in it. worst offender of this revamping for a new generation: “Die Hard 4,” which suffers from all of the above, including “The Kid”‘s Bruce Willis. he’s a struggling actor, people, but i’m sure he’s gonna make it. i just wish he’d be more “Die Hard”/”Planet Terror”/”Sin City” Bruce Willis, but that’s just me.

my point being it’s a bad time to be living through the revamping of classic series.

or is it?

for all the shit Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli got after the quitting/firing of Pierce Brosnan as James Bond, “Casino Royale” is something of an anomaly. of course, it had an excellent script from Paul Haggis and it had “Goldeneye” director Martin Campbell helming it, so maybe the credit’s due to them. but, for the first time since “License to Kill” (another maligned Bond movie which i really enjoy these days), the story was not just about the suave and debonair lady-punker. it was about a hood, a thug, an impoverished orphan PLAYING that man of the world. sure, Bond has class and a love for the finer things in life, but it’s made quite clear that it is a façade. he proceeds the way he does because he’s playing spy on a grand stage of affluence; particularly in the presence of surrogate mother, M. fellow orphan Vesper Lynd spends the whole movie breaking Bond down to the essence of a good man.

by the time Bond says, “I have no armour left. You’ve stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me – whatever is left of me – whatever I am – I’m yours,” that’s the real Bond. someone who can be himself and not have to be courageous, bloodthirsty, patriotic, egotistical, or clever to hide his shameful past and lower income roots. what’s similar here with Daniel Craig in “Casino Royale” and Timothy Dalton in “License to Kill” is the interest in breaking the character down to bare motivations; with Craig being a homicidal thug who pleasures in capturing and eventually killing international villains, and Dalton showing the dark revenge side to Bond, willing to leave the service “to go get those bastards.”

and to think, people wanted martinis, girls, guns, and gadgets…hell, don’t forget about those snappy one-liners (fuck you, “Die Another Day”). “Casino Royale,” for all its faults of being too long, too convoluted, and too “everything-and-the-kitchen-sink,” is revamping a series done right. who wants to return to installments like the ones Roger Moore did? (Moore, again, in my opinion, wasn’t a bad Bond per say, but he had some of the worst movies in the series. But nothing as bad as “Diamonds are Forever.”)

the interesting thing is that “Casino Royale,” even with a PG-13 rating, managed to be mature, well thought out, and deal with issues about the folklore and mythology of James Bond without coddling to younger theater goers. we have a realistic spy in Bond now, no doubt influenced by the success of the Bourne trilogy.

what’s important here is that we see Bond unpolished, really as a homicidal thug. just look at the opening scene or how he kills the man on the airport tarmac. he pleasures in it. much like bloody heroes who are really only at home with solving problems with violence (John McClane, John Rambo, John Matrix), at this point in Bond’s life, he doesn’t see himself as questioned, flawed, anti-anything but bad guys. Daniel Craig’s Bond is the vengeful arm of the state, but he’ll use it for his personal agenda. he’s the international vigilante.

and that, dear readers, brings us to why i know we’re all here.

hmm, a vengeful vigilante who is trying to do right to become more human…and become more human in how he does right? where “Casino Royale” explored it with Bond, the origins of Bruce Wayne have a similar breed. moreover, we’re talking about Batman! get familiar. next week, “The Dark Knight” returns…

  • Quick reactions. Saw “Hellboy II” tonight. Pretty good, but wreaks of being overlong. Could’ve been 3 action set pieces shorter. Could’ve been less “Men in Black” at the agency. Del Toro’s imagination, though, saves the movie. It’s “Pan’s Labyrinth” meets “Hellboy.” And I love those wonderful toys and machines. Grade: B
  • If you’re looking for an excellent Del Toro movie, check out “Cronos.” It’s a modern vampire tale and i think a good start if you’re trying to get into his Spanish language films.
  • Keep that discussion of Bond’s folklore and mythic status in mind. We might see some similarities next week with Batty.